Two sides to every story
Three turns into more.
The world around you is becoming a blur.
Time keeps passing.
Seconds, minutes, hours turn into weeks.
Months and years of a tongue so heavy you always just slur.
When did this gain more power over you than you have over yourself?
Why is it so dark in this place?
Who shut out the light?
I asked for help but did anyone hear me?
Too much anxiety.
So much stress.
One more sip wouldn’t hurt.
How will I get there if my legs won’t move?
Tripping over your own feet
” One foot in-front of the other,”
You repeat to yourself.
This wall will keep me from falling
Ahhhh, that’s better. Feels better.
Oh no, here come all these thoughts again.
” I have to pay the bills, did I buy everything I was supposed to? I want to take care of my family. Maybe I can start over tomorrow. I will start over. I will stop drinking and do better.
How will I apologize to my loved ones?
Will I lose my job? Wait, Did I lose my job already?
Ok, one more drink. “
You always say “I’m sorry baby, I will quit”
Here comes another day with the smell of spirits coming from your body.
Dad, will I ever get to talk to you?
I limit the words that we exchange to avoid adding fuel to the flames.
Today I trusted him to be different and now I am staring at my cold body and the bloody hands cradling his face as he screams
” What have I done? That was a drink too far!”