Involving Your Children
So you’re pregnant or have children? How beautiful. Giving birth is a feeling that only a woman can feel, a bond and experience like no other. However, what happens if your relationship with the biological father doesn’t work out? What happens when you meet someone new? What happens when your children are involved?
When you spend months and years of your life with someone it is safe to say that it is normal to have feelings of confusion, anger, pain, regret, blame, and when you are a parent even feelings of fear, worry, or despair may occur when it all comes to an end. Whatever your reasons for your separation are; you are bound to feel some kind of disbalance.
Being a single mother is not a bad thing in fact it is honorable and should receive much more credit. Pat yourself on the back you SUPER MOM! Meeting someone new is also not a bad thing when the timing of your heart sees it to be the right time, but when is that and how?
Know that a breakup of any sort doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you it simply means that the parties involved no longer see eye to eye and are better off going their separate ways or remaining friends. They have already served their purpose in your life, whatever that may be.
The first step into this “healing journey” is ACCEPTING the end and accepting the new version of your life without that person.
Know that you’re not wrong for making the decision to separate yourself from such situations that no longer make you happy, serve you any good and deciding to accept that the person you once saw as your life partner will no longer be present in your life or the life of your child. In most cases the person ups and leaves and in other cases coparenting is also a healthy route if the two parents can coexist in peace.
Keep in mind that the person that was meant to come and also stay in your life permanently will come to you when you are good and ready, when the universe aligns and the time in right. Don’t feel rushed and don’t feel unworthy. Eliminate this thought and you can move forward. This may be hard when you’re not in the best mood but it will be worth it and you’ll be glad you let go of what wasn’t meant for you permanently and what doesn’t want to stay. Force is never the way.
The New Relationship
Jumping in unprepared will only lead to another failed relationship, heartache and disbalance. When ready, starting over with someone new is such an amazing experience. Butterflies flutter in your stomach in bunches.
Take your time and get to know your new partner. Enjoy every moment and be aware of any signs that may lead to a path you no longer want to embark on. Be honest, be careful, be yourself. You’ll know if that is the right person instantly.
The First Encounters
Now that you have healed and have met your partner you’re probably wondering and worried about the first encounters with your mate and your children, right? It is the right time when you decide it is, not by force.
Try starting with something as small as showing pictures of your children to your partner and pictures of your partner to your children as well. How you proceed is completely up to you just make sure you and your children are both safe and happy.
You are worthy of love, happiness, a fresh start, of being cared for and being appreciated. That phrase “father is someone who RAISES a child, not just gives them life” is not just a punchline for a fairytale novel or movie. Real happiness and real men/women with good intentions still exist, you will overcome all of your obstacles and be filled with the love you deserve.